purplelistic

the irony of mankind..

i was browsing thru frenster, then wondering the person who 'invented' friendster wanted to make money thru a very welcomed websire with gazillion members, sold to the public it as a site that you can locate ur frens, which the public (n yes, it means u n me) uses the site to flaunt ourselves, we post the best picture of ourselves, taken at the 'best' awkward angles, to beautify ourselves.

sometimes we do so to let others know how well we r living now, sometimes purely to catch up, sometimes to get lucky, some to get laid, some to spite.

anyway, i search for my ex, on purpose in case ur wondering.

saw his picture and stared at it, for quite a while

i tot i will remember the gd or rather happy times we spent together, i expected happy memories to flood back, but they didnt.

i dun remember at all, not a single thing

though i almost immediately realised the little things that i dislike and hate about him

and realised it almost immediately

like the way i hate it when his hair become long and unkempt n he cant style his hair for nuts.

how i hate the way he... anyway, i was untolerant towards him, we were unsuitable, tt's y we broke up

tt's another story for another day

but the fact that i cant remember anything about us being together bothers me

the fact that i cant feel any feelings from before

not tt i wanna fall in love w him or anything

at least the memories

but none!

at all!

i guess i must hv subconsciously stored them in a temp file n purposely deleted them away in some corner of my brain drive when he broke my heart

y was i ever so bloody upset about him sia..

i want to slap myself..

anyway, the bigger picture is, i dun wanna forget jh this way..

he's a sweet, sensitive, funny guy

sometimes he thinks he's a sistar, he has his points tt i cant stand but tt's beyond the point.

he's still nice, won the hearts of many of my frens n he's cute.

he makes me smile

i wanna remember him like this

i nv doubt that i will forget and forgive my ex for wat he has done

but

i nv tot i will forget him so totally

he is like a total stranger now

how can someone totally forget someone after they spent 5 yrs together?

but i did.. incredelous..

i must be a genius!

i can delete useless memories and use the space for fresher nicer ones, the ones o wanna remember

hahah..

e-m-a-l

only geniuses like me r capable of that

at the same time i'm afraid of losing memories of my late grandpa, the other one, mum's dad

he passed away when i was 12

i only learnt to apreciate him more when he's gone

he wanted to teach me how to play stocks when i'm 10

but all i wanted was eat his pringles

he cooked top grade shark fin for me

i think it stinks of fishy smell

i was an ass

i was 12

i was unappreciative

he bought me toys, cooked

i made him laugh

i remember the way he smells

the way he smiles

the way he frowns

the way my uncle broke his heart

i guess we dun forget some pple after all

we remember who is impt and forget who is insignificant

the barin is a wonderful mechanism.

Lunch anybody?

12:00 PM