purplelistic

i hope the nxt time i write i'm happier.

its not that i'm unhappy with my life, or my work, i simply dun like working.

i.dislike.detest.not.looking.forward.not.ready.

i.like.to.whine.

i.have.no.one.to.talk.to.at.work.

they.r.all.at.least.twice.my.age.

i.dun.wanna.talk.about.children.and.their.exams.and.mother-in-laws.

i.wanna.talk.about.clothes.boys.fashion.makeup.hair.and.movies.

i.wanna.play.tricks.on.pple.

dun.think.my.fiftyish.boss.can.take.joke.

i.think.no.one.understands.my.jokes.so.i.dun.speak.at.all

at.least.i.have.a.stable.lunch.grp.

and.a.very.nice.senior.who.is.4.yrs.older.but.she.sits.upstairs.and.
we.can.only.'talk'.via.msn.and.during.lunch.

my.mentor.still.hasn't.cleared.the.mess.she.previously.left.at.my.place.

my.place.looks.bloody.intimidating.with.stacks.and.stacks.of.papers
.files.n.return.mails.

i.surf.net.more.than.i.work.

i.have.lost.all.my.drive.and.passion.after.seven.months.at.work.

i.stop.working.OT.cos.i.remembered.i.have.a.life.after.5.30.

but.when.i.got.home.i.ask.myself.y.am.i.home.so.early.when.i.have.work
.to.do.at.work.

i.am.a.workaholic.

i.is.disillusioning.myself.

i.need.to.buck.up.and.work.harder.

ta.ta.

hope.u'll.do.much.btr.on.your.side.

i.want.to.work.in.a.small.office.with.nice.pple.who.genuinely.cares.

but.i.realise.fun.pple.at.work.dun.care.

u.cant.find.genuinely.caring.and.nice.pple.in.one.person.

its.sad.

i.need.work.that.is.challenging.and.pays.well.

not.mudane.mthly.reports.

not.direct.mailing.campaigns.

not.advertisements.and.artworks.and.meeting.nervous.sales.pple.

sales.pple.treats.me.like.god.in.hope.we.will.advertise.with.them.

but.i.secretly.judge.them.

and.sometimes.i.dun.sell.their.ideas.to.my.boss.cos.i.dun.think.its.gd.

i.sieve.and.filter.

its.my.job.

i.know.its.a.gd.job.

pays.for.almost.everything.

but.its.an.established.mnc.it.shld.

i.am.lucky.to.land.here.for.my.1st.job.

but.y.am.i.still.unhappy.

i.dunno.

can.u.tell.me.

did.u.know.that.humans.have.terrific.memories.

even.scatter.brains.like.me.

we.nv.forget.two.things.never.ever.

we.never.forget.the.feeling.something.someone.or.somewhere.gives.us.

we.may.forget.what.exactly.induced.the.feeling.but.we.never.forget.how
.it.makes.you.feel.

tt's.probably.why.we.find.places.things.scenes.familiar.

cos.they.trigger.our.feelings.

the.2nd.thing.we.never.forget.is.the.scent.or.smell.

the.most.forgettable.would.probably.be.a.feeling.combined.with.the
.smell.

once.i.was.rushing.catch.the.train.to.school.

was.standing.behind.a.guy.

he.was.wearing.the.same.perfume.as.jh.

i.stopped.rushing.stood.2.steps.behind.him.on.the.escalator.and
.smelled.his.perfume.

the.familiar.scent.made.me.smile.

but.i.wasnt.stalking.him.or.anything.i.just.smelled.n.got.on,my.way.

whenever.my.memory.is.triggered.by.a.feeling.or.a.scent.

i.try.my.best.to.recall.when.and.where.and.whom.i.1st.felt.or.smelt.it.

i.like.the.challenge.

n.i.usually.remember.if.i.try.hard.enough.

that's.probably.y.heartbreaks.r.so.difficult.to.get.over.

we.keep.trying.so.hard.to.find.the.feeling.we.once.had.

n.so.often.we.forgot.that.the.initial.feelings.had.evolved.into
.something.deeper.

the.feelings.had.become.understanding.

but.we.forget.

and.keep.chasing.the adrenline.rush.feeling.and.forget.to.cherish.the.present.

humans.

.bleah.

its.only.human.to.err.

and.its.only.human.to.be.greedy.

i'm.thinking.of.buying.gucci.or.dior's.shades.to.sweden.

but.i'm.afraid.

being.asian.in.a.scandinavian.country.and.europe.we.stand.out
.like.a.sore.thumb.

3.women.travelling.alone.

but.oh.well.

will.think.about.it.nearer.the.date.

a.incoherent.entry.again.

tt's.who.i.am.anyway.

.ha.

9:54 AM