sometimes i wonder, i've been living my live prim and proper all my life.
ok ok, not all, but these fews yrs, after knowing decent pple n leaving undecent ones. Sometimes i miss my once eventful life, but we all hafta grow up.
Gone r the days of being oblivious to the stress of daily lives, gone r the days of pure enjoyment, gone r the days of being irresponsible.
As we grow up, we raise the stakes of everything, we need moew now to make us happy, more money, more branded, more time, more clothes, more raise, higher position, we used to be happy w goin to Bkk, then HK n Taiwan, then Melbourne, then Europe. aiyo....
when we were young, we only hv 1 bag, for sch, then 2 for sch n out cos our things wont fit in mummy's bag anymore, then as we go on, sling bags, haversack, goin-out-bag, goin-out-shoppin-bag, goin-out-dinner-only-bag, goin-dinner-n-clubbing-bag.
Then make up, using nothing, then cleanser, then moisturiser, then all the crucial 3 steps. Then foundation only, then foundation w spf, then foundation n 2way cake, then loose powder, then blusher, then the most magical of all concealer.
Then mascara only, then discover mascara with fibre extensions, then found eyelash curler, then eyeliner, then pencil or liquid, brown or black, line upper eye only? or both? gothic? smoky or girl nxt door.
by now u shld get my drift, the list jus gets longer, in fact all list jus gets longer, the list of frens, the to-do-list, the to-buy-list, the pple-i-wanna-catch-up-w list, the wat-i-wanna-do-when-i-hv-money-list, the wish-list.........................
blah blah blah blah..
its jus like when the guy is still 'woo-ing' u, he does nice stuff for you like fetching you to dinner, remembering wat u wanna eat n bring u for it the nxt time u meet, when ur caught in the rain comes n pick u up without u having to say, tt kinda thing u wil be touched, BUT, once he becomes ur bf, things changes, ur expectation of him increases, the time you guys spend together increases, conflict n friction increases, u expect more, to fetch u everyday, to pick me up when he's not wking, to make u smile all the time, wat he use to do is no longer enough? y is tt so?
i wonder..
If we jus keep enjoyin the whole woo-ing process n not get committed, in this way, wont the we get to enjoy romance with all the hassle? Grrrrrrrrreat isn't it?
some may argue tt no committement = no assurance, the guy may be treating 28 other girls e same way as you, n u still think u r special, tt would be dumb. Tt's y we muz identify the 'players' n the 'non-players'.
Allow me to further elaborate with live examples, 'players' they we all know is our uni classmate who drives a *olkswagen to sch and has a 'unclear' relationship w a girl in our class, this kinda player is non-committed, lookin for short term fun only, they seek attebtion n thrill n no-strings-attached-pls 'relationship', yet has a stable gf, no one has actually 'seen' the gd, n there r no pictures of his gf in his frenster, neither does he mention her, we jus know tt he has one. Oh well, i shouldn't judge, mayb he does hv a gd side tt i haven seen.
anyway, non-player would be coco's 'best fren' in uni, (*hint, it is a her), who recently added me in frenster and splashes her 'loving' pics all over frenster, afraid tt users would miss it, actually i'm not sure if she is a non-player, she jus strikes me as a very 'closely knit' relationship w her significant other. which makes me rather nauseous at times so i try my best to aviod her profile.
Guilt hovers over me as i continue typing on my keyboard, y am i in such a bitch mode today? i finally found the ans deep inside..
1) i am genuinely upset w e hairdresser tt completely messed up my hair on sunday, i look like crap, in certain angles i think crap looks btr than my fringe but anyway, its shitty.
2) not to mention tt ,y eyelash extensions r gettin pretty messy to maintain n its irritating me, i reallt took care of it, i dun rub my eyes anymore, apply n remove make up so bloody carefully yet it is not as well maintained as i tot it would be, not tt it is falling off or the extensions r dangling at the ends of my genuine lashes but rather my eyelash r messy, wah piang, whoever heard of messy lashes, bad hair day yes, bad lash day? -_-III
but i still LOVE the extensions, jus wish they can be darker so i can hv the bigger eye effect without having to spend too much time on it.
3) im suffering from mahjong withdrawal symptoms, not tt i cant cure it, but i dun really like to play w ppple tt i dun know, like fren's fren tt kinda thing cos mahjong is quite a lengthy affair n if you dun hv a common topic or u meet w someone who is 'determine' to win n on high concentration mode n tsk at every card u discard, tt kinda mahjong can be pretty painful.
received 2 invitations to play mahjong till now, one from winnie, n from from junie, thks, but pai seh la, i shy.. haha..
no names mentioned so pls dun assume tt i'm talking about you, in case you think i am, do check w me.
this is one hell of a purposeless entry with no meaning, jus ramblings.. pure nonsense..
i despise myself..
3:04 PM
My Name
Friend