a million things hv hapened since i last blogged.
graduated, left my comfort zone, wakin up at the crack of dawn, made new frens, made mistakes, had anxiety attacks, stomach flu, broke someone's heart, gonna get mine broken, bonuses, confusion, learning... The works.. . .. . .
Do pple change when they start to wk? Isit the lack of self restrain or simply the simple lesson of survival of harsh reality? Often wondered wat it would be like to pursue my dreams instead, not the drawing one but the one on speech theraphy, would i hv been happier now? Not tt i hv anything to complain about now, i get paid on time, i dun hv to do laundry, i hv enough to eat, mayb not quite enough to buy my wat i want but i'm doin ok i would say, enough to pay insurance, sponsor a kid, give my mum, blah blah.. lucky dad nv said anything about payin him back college tuition fees, love u dad!~
I am truly blessed, but pple often dun count their blessings, my buddies love me unconditionally even w my weird eating habits n millions of allergies, my best fren who's jus a phonecall away n nv fail to understand how i feel n a mum who always manage to wipe up a gd home cooked meal no matter at wat time of the day.
Truly blessed with unconditional love but yet i often make mistakes, i think i'm heading towards a major mistake but yet i want to try, there's so much to lose yet i may nv get anything in return but yet i'm thinkin, wat the heck. Wth am i thinkin?
for X'mas, i wish i work by protocol, a set of pre-set commands, like a pc, dun hv to think, jus follow instructions!~
Coordination is a BIG part of my job and i deal with ALOT of pple from outside, and the customers can be so very nasty, alright alright, so partly my fault too i''m a newbie and r not familiar with wat i'm doing yet, BUT i hate to make mistakes, so i'm gonna write down ALL my mistakes n revise them so i will NEVER make them again.
Growing up in a soft and lenient environment has made me a softie, yesterday a colleague screamed cos she encountered 2 paper jams in 2 hrs so she walked outta the photocopier room n screamed 'dun jus walk away when paper jam!!!' and went back inside n started banging things. I'm like, wah... need to be so agitated anot, i always encounter paper jam also ma, jus remove lor, i feel pretty uncomfortable when pple start screaming n talkin loudly, i seriuosly duno jow to handle this kinda situation, i'll probaby cry. Remember the incident with one of my grp pjt discussion, there was a major drama, i held on to winson's jeans n squeaked at him to do something. -_-II I'm such a loser!!! Buck up an yi!!! I must toughen myslef up for harsh situations and brace myself for harsh words, i was thinkin, if i got scolded at wk, i think i'll tear. Damn jialat right. Can someone invent a pill to make me tougher? pls???
Y am i such a push over? When i went for lunch yesterday someone dropped his unbrella on my toes yet he looked at me expectin me to pick up for him, shit right? of course i didnt, i jus walked away, y r pple so damn rude sometimes? or do i hv a push over face?
Anyway, jus wanna relieve my stress on the key board, feelin better now.
Tata!~
8:42 AM
My Name
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