Jessica, Ah Ma's maid, wanted me to find out more about skin cancer on line and print it out for her, her mum has been diagnosed with stage 4 of Melanoma, a rare skin cancer, to simply put it, it starts with a mole and slowly mutate into cancer, so those with moles that are changing into patches and getting wider in diameter please do go online and search for 'Melanoma'. They have a list for self checking.
Jessica asked me 'anyi, my mum's cancer is melanoma and its in stage 4, isit serious?' I was caught off guard, to my limited knowledge which is obtained from crappy tv serials, stage 4 is usually the last stage of cancer.
Its bothering me than usual because a close fren of mine has lost his mum to cancer. He called me when i was in lab (poly times), he called and started casually with the usual wat're you doing and that blah, then he said he was in the hospice and his mum almost stopped breathing just now, he put it so casually across but i felt the hurt. i knew about his mum's condition and is familiar with his mum, she is a great lady with an fantastic personality, she is the one that taught me that parents' relationship with their children need not be authoritative, they can be like frens, and even buddies. That's how my mum came about being my best fren.
I excused myself from the project that i was doing, asked one of my group mates to pray for my fren's mum and left. He waited for me at TTSH and we walked over to the hospice. I was surprised at how strong he was, he always have been. His mum greeted me with a wide smile and asked me if i was feeling better, (i had some medical problem when i was younger), even though we haven meet in about 4 years, she remembers. Her frame was small and frail yet her eyes showed enormous strength.
We watched tv with her and i fed her her lunch, my fren talked about his day and encouraged his mum that everything was fine, the doc's optimistic, blah, blah.. She told us about her past, her mum, how she was adopted and all.. She spoke happily with fondness in her eyes. We stayed with her tll late.
The next day, his mum passed away, my fren called me to tell me. I called my mum at her school and burst out crying at the corridor in sch, mum explained that life is fragile and i gotta be strong. I called Serene, she was in poly at that time, she knows i deal very badly with death and sickness and rushed down to see me, i cried, n she comforted.
To cut this painful memory short, i went to auntie's funeral and i cried the worst there, even worst than the deceased family. Even my fren had to in turn comfort me, after the crementation i cried bitterly outside the toilet with my 3 buddies surrounding me in shock, i was crying in relation to another matter. They were shocked when i told them why and cindy chided me for keepin such a thing to myself n said,'ur always like tt, keeping things to urself, even such a big thing, but we shld know better, u've always been this way.' Till today, i remembered her words.
After the funeral, i lied in bed for two days, not wanting to leave my room. Daddy said i was too emotional but i just cried harder, Mum hushed him and told him its my 1st encounter with death of this sort and asked him to give me space and time.
I believe that we do everything for a reason, even if its just a simple one, like y do we slp? cos we're tired. y do u wanna sit down? cos i feel like. I was much more deeply disturbed by Jessica's problem then i usually am and i wondered why? Then i dug out this incident from my memory. Though painful, i wanna remember so i would treasure my family more.
My aunt has lent Jessica money to send back to her family and i'm intending to ask her to lend Jessica more money this sunday when i visit ah gong. I know i can, she cares for my ah gong n ah ma lovingly, she's not perfect but she's trying, she has helped eased so much of wk, my aunt has a soft heart, im sure i can persuade her. Wish me luck!
PS: pls remind me to print out the cancer info in lab tmr, in case i forgot. =)
12:11 AM
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