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hurting..
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
tonight i've said the most hurting words and in turn received the most heart-wrenching reply.. Isn't it the one i've been wanting to hear all along? If it is, why am i broken? typical anyi, ruiner... Is the pain really better as compared to the stress? It is really starting to match up now.. Even if things were to go back, will it be the same as before? pops says im not the happy person anymore, she can sense a heavy sadness she has never seen before. Thks girls, gimme time, time will heal all.. =) If happiness is really a journey, i am currently taking a rest from the trip in a nice resort with a breathetaking sunset view.. No worries, i'll pick myself up in the shortest time possible. I have lost all the courage to love and be loved, n i have hurt the one that has taught me how to love unconditionally deeply, if you're reading this, i'm truly sorry..

I find myself quieter, having more impluse buys.. Thank God for blessing me with such wonderfully understanding frens, they are accomodating and supportive throughout. Special thks to my special 5s.. n not forgetting dols. =)

I am sad, genuinely upset, but i haven cried yet, cos i dun want mummy n daddy to know, im the happiness spreader at home, n i should never be sad, there is no reason to, they gave me everything i ever wanted n so much more. When i was young, i asked my mummy, 'mummy, wat would u do if ur children fall out of love?' mummy replied' i will hug them n cry with them, falling out of love is inevitable, at least my children will know that mummy n daddy will still love them no matter wat' Isn't my mummy the greatest? how can i let such a wonderful mummy worry about me? i have never let her worry about me except for my health and i never intend to. So if anyone calls my place n my mummy happen to ask if i'm doing ok, pls say yes except for sch stress.. =P

1:05 AM