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complication
Friday, March 31, 2006
these 2 days have been quiet, racing thoughts, i didn't allow myself to be free, i try to use up all my energy whenever possible. Is this really wat i want? i'm lost... but its too late, terrible hurt has been inflicted and things will never be the same again.. I must learn how to let my feelings go, i need to cry, im so bottled up sometimes i feel like im gonna break.. tmr is the dreadful 1st weekend alone. Sometimes i wonder why am i doing this to myself, but yet i know its for the best, i have used up all my courage to love n be loved, is it due to bad past experience? probably.. Sometimes bad experiences come back to haunt u when u least expect them to. On the bright side, i realise that i'm only nonsensical and 'creative' with tricks n pranks when i'm happy, lately i can't think so any, which is good, my buds in sch need a break from my nonsense after sooooooo long. haha..

10:47 PM



nothingness..
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
in a state of nothingness..

4:55 PM



unconsciously...
unconsciously i stayed up till 3, wonder y, isit the subconscious at work? i felt as though someone has carelessly smeared lemon on my heart, it feels soury n tightening at every memory.. cycling under the moonlight, gazing at the sky, the funny face that cheers me up, me begging to be piggybacked me when im tired n the goofy face when immediately replied yes, that silly grin when i make a bad suggestion, that perfume, the trademark smile, the comforting hug, that reassuring voice, the familiar bedtime stories, the encouragements... will i look back n regret? definately... but right now it seems like the right thing to do, i once promised myself that i would treasure n cherish, but did i really do it? i did, it was precious to me, it still is..

if i can have a wish: i wish barriers can be overcomed, happiness reinstate..

2:48 AM



a white rose...
You Are a White Rose

You represent youthfulness and purity.

Your vibe: Sweet and heavenly

Falling in love with you: is like falling in love for the first time
What Color Rose Are You?

12:12 AM



Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.
Sunday, March 26, 2006
ever had that feeling that a stinging pain just resides at the bottom of ur heart n refuses to budge? u ruined something tt u know can become something so beautiful, compliments each other so perfectly, but there're barriers that u simply can't overcome no matter how hard u try.. time becomes longer, nights lonlier n smiles less brighter.. heartaches becomes often.. then i can for sure tell u tt u r experiencing the pain of love.. haha! jus tryin to be Dr. Love.

here's my favourite bedtime story told to me by a special someone, hope u will like it as much

The Pig Who Wanted To Become The King


"I shall become the king!" the young pig proclaimed to his parents.

Mother Pig smiled and looked at her son. "How do you expect to become the king," she asked "when you are, after all, a pig?"

"I don't care." said the young pig, "I am going to become the king." And so, the young pig went into his mother's kitchen and packed himself a lunch.

"I am leaving," he said "I am going to become the king."

"Good luck," said Father Pig "Come back and visit us soon."

And so the young pig left home. He walked and walked, over hills and through valleys.
Soon it was lunchtime. Pig's stomach began grumbling as he looked for a place to stop and eat.
Suddenly, he heard the sound of someone weeping. He looked to the left. He looked to the right. And there, just a little farther up the road sat an old man, crying.

Pig walked up to the man and asked "Excuse me, sir, but why are you sitting here and crying?"

"I am crying" the old man said, "because I am lost and hungry. I went for a walk this morning, and lost my way, and I don't know the way home. And I am so very, very hungry and I have no food to eat."

"Well, sir," answer Pig, "I have a lunch packed right here, and I'm sure I have more than enough food for both you and me. You are welcome to join me."
And the pig was right. There was enough food there for not only Pig and the old man, but for several other people besides.

When they had finished eating, the old man said, "Excuse me for asking, Pig, but where are you going?"

"I am going to become the king." answered Pig.
"Ah", said the old man, and he nodded thoughtfully . May I come along?" he asked.
"Yes, you may." answered Pig.

And so they walked together. They walked and walked, over hills and through valleys. Soon they came to a river. They walked along the banks of the river, looking for a place to cross.

Suddenly, they heard the sound of someone weeping. They looked to the left. They looked to the right. And there, just a little farther up the road, sat another old man, crying softly.

Pig walked up to the man and asked "Excuse me, sir, but why are you sitting here and crying?"

"I am crying" the old man said, "because I have lost my book. I was walking along the river here, reading my book, and I wasn't looking where I was going. I tripped over a rock and I fell, and my book fell in the river. I can't swim, and I don't think I'll ever see my book again."

"I can help you", offered the Pig. "I can swim, and I will get your book for you. Wait here with my friend, and I will be right back."

Pig jumped in the river. Brrrrrrr, the water was cold! He took a deep breath. Then another deep breath. And then he took the deepest breath he ever could and dove down to the bottom of the river. He swam and swam, and just as his breath was about to give out, he spied the book.

Pig then swam back to the top of the water. He took a deep breath. Then another deep breath. And then he took the deepest breath he ever could, even deeper than the one before, and he dove back down to the bottom of the river.

He swam and swam to where he had seen the book. His breath was about to give out, when he reached it. He grabbed the book, and swam as fast as he could back up to the top, just before his breath gave out.

He just made it! Pig swam to the river bank and climbed out. He walked back to where the two old men were waiting and gave the old man his book.

"Oh, thank you, Pig", said the old man. "I can't thank you enough. But tell me, please, where are you off to?"
"I am going to become the king." answered Pig.
"Ahh", replied the old man, nodding thoughtfully. "May I come along?" he inquired.
"Yes, you may." answered Pig.

And so the three of them together. They walked and walked, over hills and through valleys. Soon they came to a deep, dark forest. They took the path that led along the edge of the forest.

Suddenly, they heard the sound of someone weeping. They looked to the left. They looked to the right, trying to find where the sound was coming from. There, just a little farther up the road, sat an old man, weeping.

Pig walked up to the man and said "Excuse me, sir, but why are you sitting here and crying?"

"I am crying" the old man said, "because I was walking here at the edge of the forest with my dog and something terrible happened. My dog is my best friend in the whole wide world, and an ogre jumped out from the trees and grabbed him. He told me that he was going to eat him for breakfast tomorrow morning. Now, I don't know what to do and I don't think I'll ever see my dog again."

That WAS terrible. Pig said "Wait here with my two friends. I'll see what I can do."

Pig ran into the deepest and darkest part of the forest, the place where ogres like to live best of all. And sure enough, there was the ogre's house.

Pig peeked in through the window. He saw the ogre was home, but was fast asleep. And in the far corner, in a cage, was the poor dog, trembling with fear.

Pig tiptoed to the front door, and quietly opened it. He tiptoed in to the house and over to the cage.
"Be very quiet." he whispered to the dog, "I am here to rescue you."
Pig opened the cage door as quietly as he could. Then he and the dog tiptoed to the door. Once outside they ran as fast as they could to where Pig had left the three old men .
But they weren't there!

Pig looked to the left. Then he looked to the right. Sure enough, the three old men were gone!

Just ahead, Pig saw a campfire. "Perhaps whoever is there could help me." he said to himself so off he went. Sitting companionably around the fire were three wizards. "Excuse me, but have you seen three old men?" asked Pig.
"Welcome Pig", said one of the wizards. "We are the three old men you seek."

"The old king has died and he has left no heirs to the throne." explained the second.

"So we devised three tests, in order to find the next king." continued the third wizard.
"One must know how to be generous in order to rule. You generously shared your lunch with me, even though I was a stranger to you" the first wizard said.

"A ruler's heart must be compassionate in order to rule well. You didn't know me either, yet you rescued my book, because you knew it meant a great deal to me. This shows me that you are full of compassion." said the second.

"And bravery is a must for kings", said the third wizard. "You risked your own life for the sake of another. You braved a ferocious ogre in order to save the best friend of a perfect stranger" said the third.

"And so we are agreed" said the wizards. "You shall be king".

And that is how the pig became the king!

9:27 PM



unintentional
Friday, March 24, 2006
ahem~ this is my 1st time blogging so if this entry seems abit cukoo pls pardon me, was leaving my bud a comment on her blog n blogspot MADE me sign up as a user b4 i can leave, wah piang! but oh well, might as well try it out.. hope when i publish this entry it doesnt look distorted like ms words sometimes will.. =P

12:17 AM